i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
