youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize