Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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