Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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