Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
