You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
