His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Fuck appropriateness.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
