I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
