i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
