Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
