remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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