i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
