I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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