dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Randomize