Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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