YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
