can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
