He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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