How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
