D3 body, D1 cock
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
my nose is crying tears of wow.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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