i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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