i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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