so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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