I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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