So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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