Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
