Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize