Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her

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(417): View more from Missouri

oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler

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(618): View more from Illinois

Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.

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(352): View more from Florida

we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

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(914): View more from New York

You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.

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(915): View more from Texas

Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.

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(406): View more from Montana

My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered

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(828): View more from North Carolina

DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008

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