Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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