Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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