he was CRYING into my vagina
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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