Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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