My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize