i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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