We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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