No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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