I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
honey bunches of taint.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize