You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
