i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize