I'm lost and stupid without you.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
