I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
