just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is Oprah even human
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
