i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
