I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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