no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize