I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Define "chronic" masturbator.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
