Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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