I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
