I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
