He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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