is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
