my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
