My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
