Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
