eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize