oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
