Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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