Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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