You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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