pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
