His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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