I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize